nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
