He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
