Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
There's even glitter on my cock...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
