ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
