Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
