There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
