I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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