honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
