Plan B is the new Plan A
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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