i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
