i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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