I want to have your abortion
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
