New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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