God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize