I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
