Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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