A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
