guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
