You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
