And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
