Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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