you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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