Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
