pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
She said her name was "party"
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
