Your mouth is God's brothel.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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