I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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