Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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