So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
