nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
