Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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