Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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