Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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