Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Randomize
