omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
