you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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