do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
