I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
