So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
