Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Randomize
