You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Boobs are out for the taking
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
