i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
