I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
