pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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