Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I am available for nakedness
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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