well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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