a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
