tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
