This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
