well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
