when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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