Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize