It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
