5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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