I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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