I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
